Meeting Etiquette

The suggestions and insights in this section may help you be aware of the ways groups can lose their momentum and focus, and how to keep things running efficiently. If your group has any best practices to share, please contact us and we will be delighted to post them here.  
You don't have to conduct your meetings as if they were legal trials (though a band of sugared-up 4-year-olds is probably more courteous than most courts these days). However, it is important to encourage a certain level of discipline and respect for attendees and the objectives they have come there to achieve.

Here are a few tips to help keep meetings on track and ensure the best use of everyone's time:
  1. Recognize and respect the leader.  It's best to have just one leader/facilitator at the meeting. Others (especially co-leaders) can help restore order or get back on topic, but it's best to have just one person "driving the bus." And make sure the group knows who is filling that role at this meeting. Just remember that, although the leader is driving, the group as a whole chooses the destination.
  2. Identify agenda / action items for the meeting (ideally, up front). You have to know what you're there to accomplish, or you won't know when (or if) you are finished. Group members can certainly add to the list at the beginning or during the meeting. If time is very limited, prioritize the items and then decide how/when to pick up the remainders.
  3. Stay focused on the action items until they are done. Don't let comments and side issues divert the group's attention from the subject you're on. Once action items are out of the way, do what the group wants with the remaining time.
  4. Discuss one topic at a time and address the whole group. Splintering off one or more people for a side conversation takes the attention of those people away from the main conversation (when they might actually want to hear what's being said)  and disrespects the entire group as well as the person speaking. We have seen a group of 8 fracture into 3 separate conversations...in the middle of one person's relevant presentation! Even when you are having open-topic meetings where every subject is fair game (as long as the group as a whole is interested), stick to one topic at a time and keep the other guidelines in mind as well. 
  5. Do not interrupt. Let each speaker complete his/her point. Unless you have an important correction or clarifying comment, simply make note of your thoughts and bring them up later, if appropriate. However, if the current speaker is already off-topic, or is boring others, see #6 below.
  6. Stick to relevant topics. Recognize the main topic and complete that discussion before branching off. If you notice someone branching off, ask the person to "hold that thought," and let the current conversation finish. If someone has gone off on a tangent that seems to be of little interest to the group, find a respectful way to steer the conversation to topics of more general interest. 
  7. Keep it short. If you have something relevant to say, find the quickest, most direct way to say it. 
  8. Make sure the quiet ones are heard. The loud, aggressive people will always manage to get the group's attention. But the shy or mild-mannered people may never get a chance to speak. Notice when someone is trying to say something and give them your full attention. Or ask them if they have any thoughts on the given topic. Then listen respectfully.
  9. Pay attention and listen. When someone is speaking, show them you are listening, and make an effort to thoughtfully consider what they are saying. Don't read something unrelated, or play with your phone or computer while someone is talking. Be aware of what your body language is saying. Nod or show other signs of hearing and acknowledging their comments. And make sure your responses reflect your having heard and thought about what was said. Don't comment if you only caught an isolated portion of a point.. 
  10. Respect time constraints. If you have only a limited amount of time (which is almost always), be aware of the items to be discussed/accomplished relative to the amount of time you have left. If you are only halfway through the action items but you are 3/4 of the way through your time, make every effort to tighten focus on the important things, and get them done as efficiently as possible. Hold lower-priority comments for another time.
  11. Take specialized conversations offline. If you have things to discuss with one person or a subset of the group, don't consume the whole group's time making them spectators in your side conversation. Mention that you would like to talk about xyz with the specified people after the meeting or offline and then get back to the main topics. 
  12. Make a good impression on the new person. If you want people to come back to your meeting, you have to show them that your group is comfortable and welcoming while also being focused, disciplined, respectful, and effective. There will always be meetings that are free-for-alls, when major actions have been taken and there is no pressing business to take care of. 
  13. Agree on hand signals (no, not the nasty ones) to call attention to the group's most common faux pas so that you and others can gently calibrate counterproductive behaviors in real time without saying a word. The Occupy movement, for example, implemented a set of gestures to silently communicate various messages. If you find some that work well for your group, please share with us.  
  14. Arrange the seating in a circle, if possible, or any configuration that allows everyone to see everyone else's faces, and that conveys the message that all are equal. However, if you have a presentation, a "classroom" configuration will make more sense.